Every Twenty-Eight Days: FOR DECADES

 

I have a colleague who is struggling with some women specific issues right now
and it sent me down a rabbit hole of thought. Turn away if you don’t want to read about periods and lady business, because I’m going all in here.
Graphic Content Ahead. 

I got my period when I was 15 and I stopped when I was 47. I’m very lucky. In the grand scheme of things, I didn’t bleed as long as many women. I got my first migraine at age 8 and when I got my period, well, migraines and periods became fast friends - nearly every month for 32 years they’d show up together. How nice. I did the math. 384 periods and, I’m guessing, at least 300 headaches to varying degrees, estimating 250 migraines. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MIGRAINES! Ask my husband. He’d concur. 

It wasn’t until the early 2000’s that migraine medicine finally started working for me. Thank God. I remember my mother telling me once, “If you think putting your head through a wall will make things better, it won’t. Trust me,” she added. “I’ve tried it.” I took her advice. Never did. But it took every ounce of my being more often than I’d care to admit not to grab a sharp knife to slice open the back of my neck to relieve the pressure. 

When I watched my colleague working through her obvious pain I remembered all the times I did the same. I remembered the times I would tell my staff I was taking a lunch and then I’d drive two blocks from the office to try and sleep off a migraine – or wait for the nausea to pass. Closing my office door to hide on the floor. Waking up at 4am with severe cramps knowing that I had a 7:30am meeting to prep for. On and on, year after year for THIRTY-TWO YEARS! And I haven’t even talked about the bleeding. Oh. My. God. The bleeding! 

Excruciating moments... Sitting in a meeting with a major donor – in their home - and realizing that my period had JUST started. Excusing myself quickly so I don’t leave blood on the chair. Grabbing my purse as I run to the bathroom only to realize I don’t have a tampon or pad because I was certain that my period was going to start next week. Then using up a half role of toilet paper stuffing it in my underwear, praying that they won’t notice the bathroom supply diminished by half and that the meeting will end soon. Then returning to the meeting with a fresh application of lipstick because surely that will distract them into thinking I only went to the bathroom because I had to pee. And, yet, somehow, I still managed to stay focused on the conversation AND secure the $10,000 donation WITH BLOODY TOILET PAPER WADDED IN MY CROTCH! 

And the time that I wore that new white blazer to work and halfway through the board meeting I look down and realize that the inside of my right cuff has thick “red marks” on it because apparently I didn’t manage my tampon removal and placement as effectively as I thought I had. And yet I still was capable of presenting the strategic plan in such a way that I got unanimous approval from the board… all the while effectively HIDING PERIOD BLOOD ON MY SLEEVE! 

Those are just TWO of my stories. TWO from three hundred eighty four periods. I have heard so many stories from other women. Women who bleed so hard they have to wear a tampon and two pads. Women who have left their mark accidentally in a variety of places from conference room chairs, to dining room chairs, to living room chairs, to Hotel Rooms. White HOTEL ROOM TOWELS!?!?! OMG. WHY?!? It’s an accident. It’s always an accident. Women who have to sit at their desks with warm compresses on their stomachs as they balance monthly accounts. Fast food workers have to excuse themselves to prying male bosses as they request a 10 minute break (not a five) because their supplies are in the car. Too many stories. I did the math again. Ten women, bleeding for 20 years, once a month – leads to the possibility of 1,200 times when a period or the challenges associated with that period existed. TEN WOMEN. 1,200 BLEEDS! 

And this is where the rabbit hole took a deeper dive. I started to think about famous women throughout time and how we just never talk about their periods or all the challenges that can and often accompany them. I thought about Betsy Ross sewing that damn flag and wondered if some of the American Flag material ended up in Betsy’s rag bag and then ended up in Betsy Ross’ bloomers. I think it happened. Betsy Ross was on the rag with the American Flag – maybe LITERALLY. And then, after she made the flag she had to wash her own rags just to be used again. SHE HAD TO WASH HER OWN PERIOD RAGS. They all did. 

And what about Madame Marie Curie? Was she fighting through cramps at the same time she was slowly being poisoned by radiation? “Oh I know I want to die right now, take a hot poker and shove it through my belly button, but there has to be a better way to give an X-ray. I will carry on” I mean, at some point in her research, that woman was bleeding. 

And then there’s Harriet Tubman. HARRIET TUBMAN! Working the underground railroad. Did she organize it around her period or did she just plow through? I’m guessing she plowed through. I mean… Harriet Tubman. Wouldn’t it be great if in one of the scenes of the movie HARRIET, some guy who sprains his ankle and doesn’t think he can go on begs her to slow down and she just lifts her skirt to reveal a rope belt attached to a pile of rags between her legs and says… “If I can push through with this, you can push through with that.” Harriet Tubman was a bleeder and a bad ass... a bad ass bleeder, if you will. 

Kamala Harris, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Taylor Swift, Mamie Eisenhower, Sally Ride, Amanda Gorman… Your favorite woman here: ____________ All of them dealing on some level with their period and the challenges that are inherent therein. And, I haven’t even mentioned dropping a 5-9 pound ball through your vagina. I never have, so I can’t even imagine the wonders pregnancy and motherhood brings. Nor have I mentioned that when the bleeding stops… there’s a whole other host of fun stuff to deal with. (Guys, if you’re still with me… that’s menopause and that's sarcasm.) 

And finally, here’s the point. Here’s why I am writing this... because… 

WOMAN, YOU ARE REMARKABLE! 

You persevere. You go about your day making the world go round without ever stopping a meeting to say, “Hey guys, I just started bleeding from a hole between my legs. I feel a migraine coming on and I’m cramping. Can we just take five for a little quick self-care?” No. That’s not said. Instead you go on. You do great things. Over and over again. They can be grand things or simple things, like getting dinner on the table or finishing a term paper or picking up meds for the kids or for your folks when all you want to do is crawl into the fetal position and pass out for five days. The history books won’t remind people that everything you accomplished you did so while bleeding every 28 days for decades. On this, the month to celebrate women, I salute you. 

(The photo above is an old picture of me. I grabbed it because I'm guessing by the color of my skin that this was a period day or a migraine day. Or both.)