Ten Minutes Prep Time

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Tonight I baked for the first time in a long time.  Like I don’t remember the last time I baked. In my lifetime I’ve made Christmas cookies a handful of times...Tastee bars for a party or two. And I’ve made my mom’s chocolate pie, but that’s really just stirring and pouring and putting in a store bought crust, not baking.  But since I’ve been binge watching “The Great British Baking Show” on flights lately, I’ve had a real hankering to bake something.  Plus, our neighbor gave us a ginormous zucchini that he grew in his garden.  This was going to happen. I found a recipe on-line for Gluten Free, Vegan Zucchini Muffins.  It said that the prep time was 10 minutes and the baking time was 20 minutes.  Perfect!  I had a friend coming over for dinner at 7pm and it was 4pm.  I could do this.

First I went to Whole Foods. I picked up all of the items I needed for the recipe (which was nearly every item.)  Gluten Free Baking Mix, Baking Soda, Baking Powder, Vanilla Extract, Pumpkin Spice, and Walnuts.  Turns out I had the coconut oil and coconut palm sugar.  Woohoo.  For some reason I also bought unneeded cinnamon. "Oh well," I thought. "This is going to go so well, I'll bet I'll use it for another recipe another day." The trip to the store took about 20 minutes.  Then I popped in to Big Lots around the corner to buy a muffin tray. 10 minutes.  Total drive time between both locations and to my home (Friday LA traffic… 2.5 mile radius) 25 minutes.

Okay!  5pm, no problem.  Ten Minutes prep… and go! 

I opened the recipe. “Things you will need,” I read.  Oops.  I don’t have a mixer.  I Google “Can you use a blender instead of a mixer?” Read 5 different answers. Get overly consumed by the number of differing opinions.  Decide I better mix by hand.

“Mix dry ingredients in small bowl.”  Okay, but where’s a measuring cup?  This is the home where I rent a room.  My roommate is out.  I can’t find a measuring cup.  Time’s a tickin’.  I decide to just use one of those glass measuring cups…  the kind best used for liquids. It’s a pain in the arse to measure out 1 cup of flour in a 2 cup measuring cup used for pouring, but I get it figured out.  I easily find the measuring spoons.  I add all of the dry mix items together, look up and 20 minutes has passed.

I’ve used up my entire 10-minute prep time and half my bake time and I’ve only mixed four ingredients. 

I mix the eggs until they are light and go to add the coconut oil.  “Oh shit!” I think. I’ve got to melt this.  I find a small pan and melt the coconut oil.  While I’m doing that I cut and grate the zucchini.  Then I realize the coconut oil is bubbling.  “Oh shit!” Did I burn it? Can you burn it?  It will have to cool a bit now so it doesn’t cook the eggs.  I feel really smart even if its not true.  That sounds like something they would say on “The Great British Baking Show.”  “Crikey, she almost had the winner, but Edwina’s coconut oil cooked her eggs.”  I add the sugar to the eggs and find that I’m doing an exceptional job of mixing despite the fact that I’m not using a mixer.  I fold in all the ingredients (after letting the coconut oil cool for a few minutes). 

I look at the recipe one last time, to make sure I didn’t miss anything.  The picture shows these lovely little muffins in these adorable little paper cups.  “Wait? What the hell?  Paper cups? My mom always had those in the house.  Those little muffin cups.  Damnit all to hell.”  I don’t have those. 

I have to run to the store… again.

This time I’ll go to Von’s.  It’s close.  I’ll just walk.  And half run.  I don’t want to mess up my neck from a recent chiropractor appointment.  “Don’t run! He said.” Time’s still a tickin’.  I go to grab my wallet in the jacket I was wearing the last time I was at the store (less than an hour earlier).  It was in a pocket.  Not anymore. I can’t find it.  I look all over my room.  In my kitchen.  Three times I look in the jacket pocket.  I go out to my car. I look inside and out.  I consider all of the things I’m going to have to cancel.  I ponder whether or not I can borrow cash from my roommate to make it through the weekend. I wonder how much I’ll need to make it through the weekend.  I wonder how quickly American Express and Visa can replace my cards. I consider that I should call Whole Foods and see if anyone turned in a wallet.  I look one more time in my bedroom. It’s not on my desk. Not on my bedside table.  Not in the chair or on the floor.  I move a notebook that’s on my bed.  There’s my wallet.  Under the notebook?!?! I don’t have a clue how it ended up there, but I’m grateful and I take off out the door running to Von’s.  Well, running then walking… neck adjustment.

I find the muffin papers quickly and head to the Express Checkout.  Each of the two women in front of me have 15 items exactly.  Not less than 15 items.  15.  I hold my one little package of muffin cups out in my hand displaying in such a way as to invite one of them to say, “Oh Gosh, you only have one item? You should go ahead.”  Neither makes the offer.  I pay for my item and head out the door, briskly walking – like mall walker walking.  When I get home I look at the clock. It’s 6:00pm.

I review the recipe one last time.  I haven’t mixed in the walnuts yet but I decide to make a few of them without, so this will work great.  The recipe says to spray the baking tin with Canola Spray.  Hm.  If I’m supposed to spray the pan, why would I need muffin cups?  I Google, “Can you bake muffins without paper cups?” Turns out there are several reasons that argue for and against, but apparently you can.  Realize the picture has nothing to do with the actual recipe.  Realize you’ve gone to the store, on foot, doing your best to not run despite needing to get there and back fast, adding 12 minutes to your prep time, for nothing. 

Pour three muffins in to the canola sprayed tin, add the walnuts and pour the remaining.  I have made enough mix to make 12 small muffins.  Put them on the rack in the oven and set the timer.  6:10pm.  The muffins would be ready at 6:30pm. 

I start dinner, scrapping the idea to make a salad too, because I simply won’t be ready in time.  Besides, we’ll have muffins. 

I check the oven at 15 minutes.  I feel like a contestant on “The Great British Baking Show” who stare intently in to their ovens praying for a rise, praying for consistency, praying he/she will know exactly the right time to remove the baked good. I remember my mom always using a toothpick to see if baked items were done.  I use a fork. I’m feeling good about this.  They have risen.  They look good.  I haven’t been this happy in a while.

When I remove them, I am giddy.  They look perfect.  I can’t wait to eat the first one. I open it and watch the steam escape.  I imagine Mary and Paul pushing the fingers to check consistency.  It's perfect. It's moist. It could have used a bit more pumpkin spice, but by and large, it’s really, really good. 

Friend arrives.  I’m late on completing dinner, but it’s okay, because she’s happy to try the muffins.  She prefers nuts, but since I don’t remember which one’s had the nuts and which didn’t, she’ll just have to guess.  She chooses right. She finds it yummy and even grabs another.  My roommate comes home.  She has a muffin.  She finds it yummy. Even encourages me not to add more pumpkin spice to the next batch.  She thinks they're perfect.

It took 2 hours and thirty minutes to prepare Gluten-Free, Vegan, Zucchini muffins that should have taken thirty. But you know what?  Totally worth it.  Tomorrow I’m making 12 more. Maybe I'll add cinnamon.


NOTE:  This is the recipe - https://alittleinsanity.com/gluten-free-zucchini-bread-recipe/ and I used Pamela's Baking/Pancake Mix